ShArings

“It’s sad, so sad; it’s a sad sad situation… Sorry seems to be the hardest word…” How many of you know that song by Elton John? Well, actually it’s not that I am sorry for this, but I had truly been through a really sad SAD situation – a sad Single, Available and Desperate situation. This is because I kept thinking, “I’m single, available and desperate, but not ready yet.”

‘Don’t Cry, Joni’ is another song that will surely intensify the desperation of any single, young man who listens to it. I don’t know how about the ladies, but any man who knows this sweet yet sad classic knows that it is all about “Don’t wait too long! Engage her before another man does, or else regret your hesitation.” (I’m talking about finding a life partner.) Of course, not all people – actually, no one wants to – end up so sad as the poor Jimmy in that song ‘Don’t Cry, Joni’ did.

I understand why many people, including my parents and grandparents, keep asking me about whether I have found a girlfriend or not. I have my own reasons why I am not ready for a date or a courtship (yet). And thank God many people shared their experience openly with me. Now, although I may have a girl in my mind, and even though I had worried that I might be ‘25-minutes too late’ to express my affection, through this dilemma of whether to get involved in courtship or not…

**… I am learning…

how love is different from lust,
and how to wait, and how to trust.

I am still learning…
how to stay in touch… although sometimes in the past
the time we spent together… did not seem to last.**

That can be the chorus of one of the songs of my life!

Prepare First, Then Only Look For One

“If you are not prepared for marriage, then it’s better to not get involved (in a romantic relationship) at all!”

Joseph Prince

No matter how ‘desperate’ I am now, preparing myself to be a life partner must precede looking for a life partner, so that even if I am still single, available and desperate, I do not fall into a sad SAD situation in my heart or in my mind. Any thought or feeling of ‘singlehood insecurity’ stems from my own fault – I have forgotten if not ignored the genuine relationship I have had (or I should have been having) with God as well as with my family, relatives and friends.

TO CONCLUDE:

I should now keep in touch with all the friends who are around me. Although I am currently attracted to and infatuated with her, I shall draw the line so that I am a friend to her just like I am to a few other people; I should find out more about her and about myself first. I believe it is wiser that I learn to hear, obey God and live my life in holiness as her friend and as an individual myself first, instead of leaping desperately, impulsively and uncertainly into any commitment – commitment that in any moment arouses me to say any words or to behave in any way which signifies ‘till death do we part’ – with her; I think it is better for me to not have a dating or a courtship with anybody, than to cause that somebody (and myself) to go through a struggle of overcoming the hurts, disappointments and awkwardness of a break-up’s aftermath, unnecessarily. I am desperate for a genuine courtship, not an impulsive or an uncertain one!

“What if someone else gets to her first before I do? What if it’s too late for me?” Oh, come on! (I’ll just repeat **chorus**.)

“We do not fall in love with somebody, we cannot; we may fall into an infatuation, but we grow, not fall, in love (together).”

Benny Ho

So, am I just merely infatuated with her and nothing else? (I guess I have to go back to the conclusion above.)

Note: The target-readers of this sharing, like Finding A Girlfriend, are those who are single, available and desperate, not those who are dating or courting (as I don’t have that kind of experience to write such sharing), much less to say those who are married.