ShArings

“… having nice chats and conversations, yet sometimes,
although I was in the midst of a crowd or among two or three people,
even then I could, not understanding why, feel lonely.”

Owing to what I’ve been through and how I learnt from my experience, I pondered on the word ‘loneliness’ recently and classified it into three aspects. Just want to share with you…

… about Being Lonely

There is a kind of loneliness every one of us spends in our own unique ways. As a student, for example, I need personal time to concentrate and study, to be in privacy, to rest… etc.

Although everyone spend this lonely time differently, I realise that I must be careful not to spend my time alone in ‘busy-ness’ or because of the fear of being rejected by others. Thinking this way will eventually cause bondages of workaholism or rejection respectively. Indeed it caused such bondages for my case a few years ago, but not anymore now because Jesus broke those bondages in me. So, while I may be spending my time more in loneliness due to my introvert nature, I must not forget the time mixing with friends. It’s all about balance. It would be yielding to the thoughts of evil or the weaknesses of man to say that I always want to be alone and not spend time with others – this is not introversion but self-isolation.

… about Feeling Lonely

On the other hand, there is another kind of loneliness that comes in the form of feeling. I believe this feeling comes sometimes so that I realise the nature of mankind to have companies. In spite of that, the situation had become something worse for me, though. This is the case:

Even though I was often with my parents, and with teachers as well as my friends,
having nice chats and conversations, yet sometimes,
although I was in the midst of a crowd or among two or three people,
even then I could, not understanding why, feel lonely.

This kind of ‘feeling of loneliness’ does not lead me to mix with friends but it strikes me even when I am with my family or friends. My pastor described it well when she told the church about one of her stories last year in a seminar,

“One day, as I woke up, seeing my husband was still asleep, I got up on my own and just spent time looking through the window at the rainy scene outside when suddenly thoughts came to my mind, ‘Oh Lord, I feel lonely…’ Immediately, I rejected those thoughts. So I can confidently assure you that this feeling of loneliness is indeed very real while, according to what we’ve learned in Jesus Christ, it is but a lie of the devil.“

Rev. Margaret Falls

Indeed, this kind of ‘feeling to loneliness’, which is really very real and strong sometimes, leads me away even from whoever that is around me like the situations mentioned above, sometimes it also triggers me to think evil thoughts such as lustful desires, impurity, immorality, hatred, unforgiveness, low self-image, discouragements,… etc; these are either the weaknesses of mankind or the deceptions of the evil ones. But thank God that in Jesus Christ it is made possible to overcome all these completely.
But there’s a feeling of loneliness that reminds me of my family and my friends so that I take the initiative to keep in touch with them; this, I believe, is from God and the nature of mankind he’s created so that I will not always want to be by myself.

… about the Sweet Loneliness

Yet, there is, however, a time of sweet loneliness no one should miss in any day.

It is to be in a place where there is no one else but only me alone – it draws me to hide myself from the world. Yes, truly, this is the kind of loneliness we all can’t live without – this is the quiet time spent with the living Jesus, who rose from the dead about 2000 years ago, after he preached the Good News on earth!

“After dismissing the crowds, Jesus went up on a hillside by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone…”

Matthew – [Gospel of Matthew 14:23]

To be not lonely in a lonely place, how can it be? – Jesus said, “…Yet I am not alone, because the Father is with me.”

“Come close to God, and he will come close to you.”

James, the son of Joseph – [The Letter of James 4:8]

God coming close to us doesn’t mean that he’s often far away. No, God is always with us even without us knowing. God coming close to us means he is revealing himself to us, to let us know that he is real, to assure us that his Son has risen from the dead, to empower us as we experience his Spirit tangibly. This is the most wonderful way to be lonely, because God’s revealed Presence will expose and cast out all weaknesses of mankind, continually transforming us into God’s perfect image as we keep coming into his Presence. How marvellous – the quiet time spent with the Father through the Son, Jesus, by His Spirit living in us – is the moment communing with the Almighty One! It’s full of love, joy and peace. That’s why I said no one should miss this time in any day. This quiet time is made possible only because of the Good News. So it is said,

“How beautiful are the feet of those who bring the good news!”

Paul of Tarsus – [The Letter to the Romans 10:15]

CONCLUSION

In conclusion of my pondering of the word ‘loneliness’, I found that there is a difference between being lonely and feeling lonely. The former is just a physical condition or situation which is true even during the time of sleep in my room while the latter may either reminds me of my family and friends so that I take the initiative to keep in touch with them or, if I’m ignorant of what Jesus has said, strikes down my soul even when I am among a crowd of companions. Last but not least, I also deduced that…

Firstly, there is a general lonely time when we spend privately in different ways and needs. Secondly, there is a feeling of loneliness that reminds us to not always be alone by ourselves. Thirdly, there is a sweet loneliness which lifts us up from the natural to the supernatural, experiencing the wonder to be alone without being lonely – the oneness with God – supernaturally natural and naturally supernatural. The third is able to beautify the first and perfect the second, so that our faith in God is grown at every moment for all areas of our lives in both the personal and the corporate perspectives – whether when we’re alone, with 10 partners, 100 companions, 1000 members, 10000 people or billions of multitudes.

The sequel to this article is my story on Finding A Girlfriend.